On My Mind Part III: Bullies on the Bus

Two bloggers I admire recently wrote posts that had to do with bullying and bad behavior on the school bus. On Classy Chaos, Pauline described her son’s close encounter with swearing and kids being mean to each other on the bus, as well as her own experience getting in trouble after being forced to swear by classmates. Chef’s Widow Amelia wrote about her son’s painful encounter with bullies on the bus.

It breaks my heart to read these accounts. I worry about what my godson will encounter when it’s time for him to go to school. And I remember my own hellish bus rides from junior high.

Why do kids have to be so mean? What’s up with their parents? Teasing, forming cliques…those things I can understand, but physical violence and threats cannot be tolerated.

I remember a friend of my grandparents’, a school bus driver, complaining about the fact that he had to pick each child up from his or her house. He was a large, loud man, and I believe everyone was in shock when I stood up to him and said that I wished that would be the case for me. It would have lessened the amount of time I had to spend around bullies who threw things, hit and made vile remarks.

I did well in school and didn’t get into trouble. I may as well have worn a shirt with a bullseye on it every day. To counteract my nerdiness, I even resorted to smoking at the bus stop, hoping the “cool” kids would start to see me as one of them and leave me alone. Not only was that stupid, it didn’t work either.

Eventually my mom started driving me to school and picking me up every day (bless her!), but not all parents have schedules that allow them to do that.

Here’s the real problem: the system of school bus transportation throws children together in an unsupervised environment. There are not always adults at the bus stops, and while on the bus, the driver cannot be responsible for making sure the students behave like angels. He or she must concentrate on driving safely.

Unfortunately, there will always be parents who don’t raise their children well and those children will act like jerks. My school bus experiences were so scarring that the memories still bother me today. My advice to parents: talk to your kids about what’s happening on the bus. Wait with them at the bus stop if you can, although your child probably will tolerate this only through elementary school. Even better, drive them yourself if at all possible.

Artist for a Day

I have one more "On My Mind" post to write, but I thought I'd lighten things up for today...

A week and a half ago, my boss took my colleagues and I to Artist for a Day, the "paint-it-yourself pottery experience" in North Olmsted. We got our projects back today!

It was so hard to pick from the hundreds of options available to paint. They have everything from dishes to serving ware to mugs to characters to animals to holiday decorations...I could go on. Even though it was hard to choose, painting the pieces was fun and easy. Here's what I painted:

A sleeping cat

A little heart-shaped box for my mom

A moon-shaped dish for my nightstand

I'm not crazy about the sponging technique I tried on the moon-shaped dish, but it was fun to experiment.

A trip to Artist for a Day would make a great afternoon for a group of girlfriends or moms and daughters. I'd love to go back and paint some holiday decorations and other gifts.

On My Mind Part II: Agent Orange

While my dad, a Vietnam veteran, was undergoing evaluation for the effects of Agent Orange, The Plain Dealer published a special report written by Connie Schultz on this toxic chemical used to deforest areas of Vietnam so that the North Vietnamese army would not be able to use the dense foliage for cover.

I'd heard that Agent Orange had terrible effects on the people of Vietnam. What I had not thought about was its potential effects on American soldiers who served there. And I had no idea it still poses such a problem for the people of Vietnam.

Of the 11 types of diseases recognized by the U.S. government as possibly being related to Agent Orange exposure, my dad suffers from three. And he suffers. After reading the report written by Connie Schultz, I told my dad how proud I am of him for serving our country and how sorry I am that he is suffering because of it. (Well, first I cried.) In typical Marine/dad fashion, he said, "Don't worry about it. It was my duty."

Well, it's my duty as his daughter to care about him. I could not be more grateful for the folks at the Louis Stokes Cleveland VA Medical Center, the Cleveland Regional Office of the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and University Hospitals for taking such good care of him.

Whether we agree with the reasons for going to war or not, I believe it's so important to take care of the men and women who serve in our armed forces. I know I'm not cut out for it, but I am grateful for those who are. It saddens me that serving has such drastic long-term effects.

On My Mind Part I: Gun Control and Mental Illness

For the past few weeks, some heavy thoughts have been weighing on my mind. Thoughts so heavy, in fact, in took me a while to decide if I wanted to write about them and then more time to decide how I wanted to write about them.

The topic of gun control and mental illness has been on my mind quite a bit since the tragic January 8 shooting in Arizona, and even more so since a few of mine forwarded an article on states' lack of compliance with the mental health gun law from MSNBC.com, posted there on February 17.

This is a very personal issue for me and I'm about to share why. To protect the privacy of the two individuals involved, individuals that I know well and love, I will refer to them only as A and B. For those reading this that do know their identities, I ask that you please respect their privacy as well.

A had been dealing with a mental illness for some time, but was refusing treatment. Despite being involuntarily committed for observation and treatment several times, A was able to purchase a gun at a retail establishment. B was not aware of this. One night, A held B at gunpoint in their home and demanded money. Quick wits enabled B to escape the house without injury.

B then went to a police station for assistance. B was turned away. B went to three more police stations before finding officers who would provide assistance. A was taken to a mental health facility. B asked the officers if they would confiscate the gun. They would not. B took the gun into a police station to surrender it. The officer B spoke with would not accept it and advised B to "throw it in a dumpster or sell it."

I have the utmost respect for police officers, but this sadly true story highlights a number of challenges that friends, family members and authorities face when dealing with someone suffering from a mental illness.

- At the time of this incident, A should have been turned away when trying to purchase the gun. Clearly a background check was not performed, or if it was, it did not show incidents that should have prevented the sale.

- I believe that police officers are inadequately trained to deal with persons with mental illnesses. I don't know what the answer is here. They have so much to deal with already.

- I really don't understand why the gun was not accepted by the officers who responded or at the police station B took it to, and I really don't understand the advice B was given.

- It is the nature of mental illnesses that those suffering from them often do not believe there is anything wrong with them. This was one of the most frustrating, painful and difficult things for me to cope with while watching A suffer.

The MSNBC article I referenced above states that the Arizona shooter "was so mentally unstable that he was kicked out of community college." I find it very hard to believe that this is the reason on record. I'm sure there would have to be specific incidents that led to his expulsion. Regardless, where was the help for this young man? Help that possibly could have prevented the tragedy in Tuscon?

The answer's not that easy. It's extremely difficult to find real help for someone suffering from a mental illness. And by real help, I mean help that enables the person to become a functioning member of society, not just a resident in a mental health facility. There have been many advances in treatment that can help individuals suffering from the illnesses to have happy, productive lives.

I'm happy to report that A is doing just fine now...enjoying a happy, productive life. It wasn't easy to get there, but the dogged persistence of friends and family members made it happen.

How can we make things better for others in similar situations? What responsibilities can we reasonably place on educators, police officers and health care providers who can identify individuals suffering from mental illnesses who might pose threats to others?

These are hard questions and the answers won't come easy. My hope is to simply start a conversation about them.

Ads of the Big Game

With 30-second spots priced at $3 million to air during the Super Bowl, it's not the time for advertisers to play it safe. Here's my take on how this year's advertisers scored (or fumbled):

Touchdown:
I'm going to award the touchdown to Volkswagon's "The Force." It's memorable, funny and resonates well with the target demo. I'm also giving an honorable mention to Coca-Cola's "The Siege" because it looked like part of a great movie, and I wanted to see more.

Field Goals:
Best Buy "Ozzy vs. Bieber" - "What's a Bieber?" Heh.
Bud Light - Especially "Dog Sitter"
Bridgestone - Especially "Carma"
Coca-Cola
Chevrolet - Most of their ads were good, especially "Eco Misunderstanding"
Doritos
E-Trade "Tailor"
Mercedes-Benz
NFL "Super Bowl Celebration"
Pepsi Max - Especially "Torpedo Cooler"
Play60

Safeties:
Audi "Release the Hounds"
Kia "One Epic Ride"

Fumbles:
BMW
CareerBuilder - Funny, but they are still not demonstrating a clear understanding of the job climate.
Chrysler - Nice try at changing your image, Chrysler, but I don't think this ad is enough to drive a younger demo to your dealers.
Go Daddy "The Contract"
Go Daddy "The New Go Daddy Girl" - I would have given this ad a field goal for the surprise twist, but it doesn't seem to be resonating with consumers.
HomeAway - They get points for trying to push the envelope, but overall, this spot was a miss.
Hyundai
Lipton Brisk
Mars/Snickers - I was prepared to throw the penalty flag on this one, but it seems to be resonating with consumers. I just don't think it's anywhere near as good as the Betty White spot.
Mini Countryman - Not a good sign that I had to look up the product name for this spot
Motorola - They're not going to gain market share on the iPad with that spot.
Salesforce "Chatter.com Launch"
Stella Artois
Teleflora "Help Me Faith" - Not edgy enough

Penalties:
Budweiser "Wild West" - Flag on the play for inappropriate use of the storied Clydesdales
Skechers Shape-Ups - Really? THAT was their Super Bowl debut?

Replay Requests:
I've been referencing the Hulu AdZone as I write this post and I see by their list that Sony Ericsson and Cadillac ran spots during the game. I don't remember seeing these spots at all and I watched the commercials faithfully, taking breaks during the game itself. I think that pretty much covers the value of those spots.

Car Crash: The auto advertisers were out in full force for the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, their creative wasn't out in full force. Although I'm not normally in favor of Super Bowl advertisers running ads that aren't "new," I was pleased to see Honda run the Odyssey commercial with the Judas Priest music bed. The Super Bowl was the perfect venue for this ad. Volkswagon is the runaway winner in this category.

Head-to-Head:
Carmax vs. Cars.com - Carmax wins with memorable emphasis on customer service.

Coke vs. Pepsi - Personally, I like the Coke ads better but I have to give the nod to Pepsi. In ads, pain always wins over peace and harmony.

Groupon vs. Living Social - Living Social takes this one. The intro of the Groupon ads doesn't keep the viewers' interest long enough to get the jokes (which aren't all that funny anyway).

Check out the Super Bowl ads on Hulu's AdZone here:


Note: I chose not to include ads for films or television shows in my assessment.

Which was your favorite Super Bowl commercial this year?

A Delightful Surprise at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History

This past Saturday, my mom and I visited the Cleveland Museum of Natural History because I discovered that they have otters there, and if you know me, you know I am obsessed with otters. I can watch them swim and play for hours.

We discovered that CMNH has a wonderful wildlife habitat in its backyard. We followed the beautifully serene wooded path and found owls, hawks, songbirds, deer, a turkey, vultures, crows, OTTERS, raccoons, foxes, rabbits and bobcats. (Eddie the groundhog was inside for Groundhog Fun Day.) Despite the cold, we enjoyed stopping to observe each animal. Here's a pic of one of the otters. I overheard one of the staff members or volunteers telling someone that this is Lucy, who likes to suck on her paw while she sleeps. Toots!



I had not been to CMNH for many years and had no idea that this gem was hiding there. I can't wait to go back in warmer weather!

Mom's Wish Come True

While I was growing up, my family wasn't very chatty. We ate dinner in front of the TV. One or more of us usually had our nose buried in a book...even while we were watching TV.

When I was 8 or 9, my mom decided that we should eat dinner at the dining room table so we could talk. What?! My dad and I behaved like spoiled brats - we didn't say one word in protest of this new development.

That was the first and last time my mom tried to make us eat at the dining room table.

Fast forward 24 years. I have dinner with my parents at least once a week now. We eat at their dining room table. And you couldn't shut us up if you tried.

I don't know if it's the challenges my family has faced over the years, or if it was my living in a different city for six years, or what, but whatever the reason, I'm glad we've become close and can really talk with one another now. I wouldn't trade the relationship I have with my parents for anything.

Love you Mom and Dad!