Ego

I've been thinking about ego this week - not the traditional Freudian definition, but the more commonly used "inflated sense of self-worth" kind of ego. There is something to be said for tooting one's own horn and being proud of one's accomplishments. But we've become a society in which no price is too high for fame and in which it's acceptable to stand out from the crowd by any means necessary.

You may have heard the scary and saddening story about the six teenage girls who beat up one of their classmates to achieve fame on YouTube. They even went so far as to post lookouts outside the house so they would not be interrupted and so their victim could not escape. And they're famous now, all right, but not in a way that will do any of them any good.

In my own life, I've had the opportunity to compare and contrast the behaviors of two individuals, both highly intelligent, successful and well-respected in their fields. One is humble almost to a fault, consistently shifting praise and recognition from self to team. This is a person who could easily rack up local and national publicity and awards, but choses instead to quietly but powerfully work toward goals on behalf of many. What publicity and awards this person does receive are graciously accepted with an acknowledgement, again, of team over self. Operating without cell phone or BlackBerry, this person accomplishes much yet never seems harried and is never too busy for a hello to even the newest intern.

The other is as egomaniacal as the first is unassuming. Achievements are credited to self rather than team; sentences begin with "I" rather than "we." The seemingly uninfluential are passed by with no hello; "too busy" is a frequent excuse. Perceived slights result in uproars that waste time and cause unnecessary work. Respect is expected, not earned. Truth be told, this person does run in circles where temper-tantrums and diva behavior are the norm, but does that really make it OK?

I'd rather be well-liked than well-known and I'd rather know that I treated others well instead of squashing them to get ahead. I know whose example I'm following.

Cindi

P.S. It's ASPCA Day!