Deal-Breakers

I stumbled across this interesing article in The Plain Dealer:
http://www.cleveland.com/living/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/living-0/1207384239226400.xml&coll=2&thispage=1. I'd say this is pretty good evidence to support my quandary of whether or not dating is worth the time and effort!

I was also interested in the concept of "deal-breakers," things that would end a relationship with no ifs, ands or buts. The extreme example at the beginning of the article is, in my opinion, more than a deal-breaker. It's a throw-your-drink-in-his-face-and-storm-out-leaving-him-bewildered-and-embarrassed moment. I hope someone leaves that guy to starve somewhere sometime soon. The fact that he's identified as a medical professional does nothing short of scare the bejesus out of me.

Some of the more obvious deal-breakers listed in this article I do agree with - criminal record, married, poor hygiene, animal abuse. To that I would add refusal to work, drug abuse, physical abuse, refusal to pet/play with my pets (this should have tipped me off twice!), atheism and making fun of me.

This article focuses on the beginning of dating relationships, though, and this is the first time I've heard the term "deal-breaker" used in reference to that early stage. Normally I hear it in discussions when people are espousing their overall philosophies on serious relationships and marriage. And 9 times out of 10, it's usually used in reference to cheating.

By no means do I advocate cheating. But I do wonder about these absolute pronouncements. Marriage is supposed to be for better or for worse. As long as both parties are truly willing to work to correct a problem, I think it's better to be slower to walk away. One of my favorite sayings is, "Out of the mud, the lovely lotus blooms." We Lost fans saw this happen with Jin and Sun (yes, I know Lost is fiction, but it can happen in real life too).

So, what's my point? Life and love are like gardening - beautiful flowers won't bloom just because you want them to. It takes time. You gotta work for it. The sun and the rain are both necessary, and sometimes, so is the manure.